By: Daryn Lee

For many university students studying abroad, success is non-negotiable. In university, being a successful student is often defined as having outstanding grades and a thriving social life while simultaneously juggling extracurriculars that help to build a strong portfolio.

The idea of success has evolved into a cookie-cutter set of values, rather than unique individual achievement. It can be summed up in over-romanticised moodboards and 5-second short form videos that resonate with thousands, if not millions, of youths whose definition of success has been moulded into a uniform one. Success has become simply defined by numbers: time woken up, the number of hours spent in the library, the number of internships completed, etc.

Although being able to quantify our goals allows us to have a clearer vision of the ideal versions of ourselves, replacing that authentic feeling of accomplishment with measured outcomes sets a fixed expectation of what success looks like for university students. Furthermore, it imposes this strong sense of obligation to meet these “daily criteria”, and we feel guilty if we do not, at the cost of our mental and physical health.

How much does success really cost?

We cannot ignore the fact that our study abroad became possible through a significant amount of sacrifices made by our family and the people who support us back home. Reminders of loved ones telling us to “work hard,” “get good grades,” “do your best,” “make your parents proud”, drive not only our motivation, but also the obligation to keep doing our best. The dilemma arises when we feel the need to take a break, yet feel the need to make the most of this hard-earned opportunity.

There is also a need to financially and emotionally justify our opportunity to study abroad. It is difficult to turn a blind eye from the obligation to fully utilise our study abroad and check off our never-ending list of goals shaped by expectations from ourselves and others. Through all that, working hard should be the bare minimum to repay our loved ones for all the sacrifices made.

Considering that so many of us are aiming for similarly limited resources and positions, there is bound to be an unspoken competition around scholarships, extracurricular opportunities, and even friendships. The fact that the same peers we look to for guidance and support are also our competitors is ironic. There are only so many spots for so many students. This adds additional stress when navigating such dynamics, even in the most genuine friendships.

Furthermore, constantly chasing this lifestyle of success reinforces the association between academic achievement and self-worth. As humans, we all want to preserve a level of self-worth when evaluating ourselves. This increases our tendency to prioritise obligations to study, to socialize, to overcommit to extracurricular projects, to stretch ourselves too thin, just to be able to tell ourselves that we have done our best. Such tendencies make us vulnerable to overworking.

When are we doing too much?

Unfortunately, we are beings with a limited capacity. We cannot constantly give in to external demands without first meeting our own needs. Long periods of overworking promote the risk of burnout. The feeling of incompetence, constant stress, and exhaustion from keeping up with academic and external demands is burnout.

In psychology, burnout is the discrepancy between the demands of the tasks and the individual’s inadequate capacity to complete the task (Morshidi et al., 2025). Of 1,211 undergraduate respondents from a study by Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2021, 60.5% of them reported symptoms of anxiety, and 40% of them reported being stressed (Aziz, 2025). Thus, attempting to meet demands while running on empty tanks sets us up for burnout any day.

This is especially so when we are not obligated to set aside as much time for family as we do back home. We no longer have the protective factor of having the day-to-day support system to depend on outside of study hours (Chong et al., 2025).

What makes you truly fulfilled?

Despite the current critiques against giving our all for the conventional idea of success, we should not forsake our spirits of ambition towards a greater goal. Rather, our ideas of success should be reframed according to personal perspective and passion.

Our efforts should be redirected from constant attempts to thrive in this cookie-cutter narrative of success to putting our best foot forward in making the most of our unique pursuits and to revel in the journey of doing so. Our ambitions should not be limited to societal standards but driven by authentic motivation.

However, it is very much easier said than done. Our preferences and ideals have been influenced by every single societal encounter in our lives. It is almost impossible to undo its effects. Considering this, it is important to embrace our strengths and values that make us unique from one another. Therefore, we should take ownership of our own definitions of success before burnout deems it too late.

References

Aziz, F. (2025, June 15). Heavy price of education. The Star. https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2025/06/16/heavy-price-of-education

Chong, L. Z., Foo, L. K., & Chua, S. (2025). Student Burnout: A review on factors contributing to burnout across different student populations. Behavioral Sciences, 15(2), 170. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15020170

Morshidi, M. I., Chew, P. K. H., & Suarez, L. (2025). Uncovering the mechanism linking education expectation and suicide ideation among students in tertiary education: The mediating role of academic burnout, psychache, and hopelessness. PLoS ONE, 20(12), e0337831. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0337831

Sani, R. (2018, April 25). Coping with student mental health. NST Online. https://www.nst.com.my/education/2018/04/361450/coping-student-mental-health